The first date was a job interview, but the second date is an on the jobtryout for a man. No longer do you ask him who he is, you push him toshow you via his actions. Remember he is still on his best behavior, nomatter how honest you feel he's been in the week leading up to this date,you can't put anything past this man. Does he want the job for real or is hejust trying to get a quick paycheck aka your pussy? Is he not tripping on thebenefits, and sees this as a career aka wants to be your man for as long asyou will have him? Don't assume anything at this point good or bad.Observe.

Cali has chosen an intimate concert being headlined by a new up andcoming singer she likes which takes place at a coffee shop/bookstore. Thisis Cali willing to show her bohemian side. On the first date, she came off aselegant and sexy, but could still make sexual jokes or sassy comments, butthat's just attitude. Now Cali is going to show another side, her soul. Sheloves music and loves chilling at cool places filled with artist types asopposed to the hood crowd or even the buttoned-up luxury folks. Cali knewthis was important, which is why she laid the foundation by asking Stephenabout his taste in music on the first date. Although they aren't really into thesame artists, Stephen claimed he was open to new things. She will now seehow true that really is. In terms of the outfit, she will dress to the crowd,casual, but as before retain that, "I would fuck me," image that will makeher a head turner even in a room full of other women. She's going to allowStephen to pick her up this time. At this point, she's not worried aboutprivacy, he's earned enough trust. The show starts at 9, but they will have aquick bite at 8, which will give Cali a chance to re-break the ice.

Stephen pulls up to Cali's apartment, but by the time he steps out togo to the door, Cali is already walking towards him. She doesn't want to gothrough the fuss of inviting him in or being hit with the "can I use yourbathroom" excuse men use to be nosey. Stephen gives Cali a hug, and opensthe door for her. He's all smiles because in about four hours he thinks hewill be back in front of this apartment, this time being offered to come inand chill (Ha!). The ride over is filled with compliments and small talkabout how it's been too long since they've seen each other. It's only beensix days, but Stephen is openly annoyed about not having more access. Thisisn't a red flag, however, men are big babies who will always bitch andmoan when they can't have what they want when they want it. This isn'tCali's first rodeo, she plays to this man's ego, promising that she badlywanted to see him too, but needed it to be the right time where she couldfocus on him without work or family stuff distracting her. Although thisisn't an honest answer, it's mandatory. There is always a bit of a game to beplayed between men and women when first getting to know each other, andright now Cali is following these dating rules in order to vet Stephen. Thereis no guilt about lying in order to test this man because the ends will justifythe means.

The two decide to go to P.F. Chang's to grab small plates at the barand maybe a drink. Cali could have chosen something as simple as aBuffalo Wild Wings or a TGIF's, but when given a choice, she will alwayspick a place more befitting her classy side over somewhere loud andcatering to a rowdier group of people. She is a special occasion. This is stilla special occasion. To go to some basic place in a basic setting would makeCali seem like just another girl. Even in a hurry, a Spartan never doesanything generic. At the bar is where Cali takes the time to listen andobserve. Whenever a man is seeing you for the first time since you'vecommunicated so much, it's like a brand new person. No longer is Cali"some bitch" who he took out to see what was good. Cali has become a realperson, so a new set of nerves rush over Stephen. It's time to re-break theice using what I call, The Girlfriend Experience. Before they can even askfor a menu, Cali wraps her arm around Stephen's arm, gripping his hand inthe process. She then leans into his body, nuzzling up to his shoulder with asensual, "I'm so excited to see you again." This turns that phone "like" backinto physical "like" which avoids any awkwardness or long build up to getback to a place of comfort.

Cali used the oldest trick in the book, she not only touched him; shepressed her body against his. That's Animal Kingdom 101. The closer youare to a man, the more excited he becomes. Feeding him an appetizer withyour hands or fork... Continuing strong eye contact that either has himengrossed or makes him laugh out of nervousness... Placing a hand on hisknee... These are all tricks Cali uses to regain the physical control. Stephencan't help but be open because in his world all of these things point to sex,he has no idea that he's being hypnotized.

Cali and Stephen arrive at the show on time, and the mood isromantic and fun. Cali has been here before and like most niche activities ina city, she knew she would run into people who know her from that scene.This is the first test, and why it's always important to go places that you arefamiliar with on the second date. How will your date react to other peopleyou know? A male employee greets Cali with a hug as if Stephen wasn'teven there. Cali is warm and makes small talk, but is sure to bring Stepheninto the picture and introduce him as her "friend." Men do not like beingreferred to as "friend" it sounds unimportant and doesn't hint at what isactually going on. To Stephen, this guy may see him as some chump who'stricking on Cali. Stephen's mind will race to, "Did she call me a friendbecause she's dating him too? Has she fucked this dude? Why is he smilingat her like that?" Cali could have said, "This is Stephen we're on a date," or"This is my boo, he offered to take me out." Something more ego strokingthat would have made Stephen more comfortable. However, Cali knowsthat this is important to the future of the relationship.

If Stephen can't handle male associates coming up to chat in public,or to give a hug, then this won't work. Cali goes out regularly and she's asocial woman that has various associates. Men that used to date her will beout, men who she friendzoned will be out, men who she fucked, and whostill want to fuck her, they will all be out on any given night. Stephen willhave to deal with that and not flip out, judge her, or make snide comments.Cali isn't a ho, but for an insecure man, popularity with the opposite sex canbe hard to deal with. Stephen is about to show how secure he really is.Cali asks her male employee friend if he can hook them up with seatscloser to the stage. The friend tells them to hold on while he checks.Stephen hasn't said anything at this point, so Cali takes this moment to askhim what he thinks of the decor. Stephen is still distracted by the other manhugging "his bitch," but says that it's nice. Cali could tell Stephen who thatguy is and how she knows him, but it's always, don't ask don't tell. IfStephen is truly a big boy and is curious then he has to ask himself, not sulkand act passively. Cali and Stephen are taken to a seat closer. Cali onceagain hugs the employee as thanks for the hookup. The friend tells themboth to have a good time and shakes Stephen's hand with a smile.

Let's pause. This is why you MUST take a man out to familiar placeswhen you're dating because men will tell you how they aren't jealous allday when it's only you, him, and maybe a waiter. To go out with anotherman puts thoughts in his head that he may not be able to hide. Right herewe have Stephen and Cali's friend exchanging pleasantries, but what'sunder the surface? A dap and a smile to a rival man who knows your girlcould mean, "Good luck, brother, she's a tough one," or "Damn, youtricking on a ho that I slept with on a Chipotle budget." Stephen has no wayto know if he's a fool unless he asks Cali. Once they're seated andcomfortable, Stephen man's up and asks Cali who that rival male was. Calismiles internally, she is ecstatic that Stephen asked directly, opposed tointernalizing and fuming for the rest of the date. Cali explains that he worksat the coffee shop, and she would come in every morning before she beganworking closer to the Starbucks where they first met. Stephen states theobvious, "He looked like he was in love with you." Cali smiles, "Aren'tthey all?" Then follows up with, "He gave me so much free coffee trying toget me to go on a date, but I need more than caffeine to give out mynumber." This makes Stephen happy. Without being too direct Cali is lettinghim know that he should feel honored to be sitting next to her becauseplenty of men have tried and failed to take her out. Cali didn't need topander to Stephen; she let her personality tell him that he has nothing to feelthreatened about in regards to that other man.

The show is about to start when another friend of Cali's, a woman,comes to say hello (be nosey). Cali introduces Stephen in the same way, asa friend, to prove to him that she isn't the type of woman that acts one wayin front of men and then tries to stunt in front of rival females like, "Oh thisis my baby, girl." Cali always keeps it low key and real, she doesn't need toimpress anyone. The woman is here with some friends and asks if Cali andStephen would like to sit with them. Cali defers to Stephen for another test.Right now Stephen could play ball and let Cali enjoy the company of hergirlfriend, to prove that he's cool. However, by doing that he sacrificesalone time for a group of strangers who he doesn't know. Stephen answers,"We had to kill the people sitting here before us in order to get these niceseats, and plus I kind of want this young lady all to myself." The girlfriendraises an eyebrow excited by the romantic answer and leaves the twolovebirds to it. Cali promises to come over to talk at intermission. Cali turnsback to Stephen, "Somebody likes me." Stephen doesn't front, he haswaited all week to see her and wasn't going to share. This turns Cali on, andfurther makes Stephen stand out in her eyes. This man is taking control in agood way, and not being an overly submissive little bitch who only wants tomake her happy, even at the expense of his own enjoyment.

During the show, there is not much for Stephen to do except listen andattempt to stroke Cali's leg every now and then. Cali is caught up in thevibe and doesn't flirt like she did at P.F. Chang's, and Stephen is a bit bored.Between songs, Cali asks him his opinion, if he's having fun, etc. Stephenplays along and is responsive. Cali knows that this isn't his scene, but that'snot a deal breaker. Even uninspired Stephen has yet to pull out his phone tocheck a sports score or his timeline. He's conscious that he needs to showsupport for her interests. After the final set, Cali meets up with hergirlfriend and her associates to discuss. Cali makes sure to bring Stepheninto the circle, to see if he's going to chime in, or just sit there like a bumpon a log. It's no surprise to Cali that Stephen retains his wit and humor evenin the presence of these strangers. He also keeps his eyes from gawking atsome of the pretty women in the group, another gold star effort.

One of the best things about meeting friends while out on a date isthat they ask the direct questions that you shouldn't. Cali's girlfriend askshow long they've been dating and if it's serious. These are the invasivequestions that a Father, Mother, or Aunt would ask, but on a smaller scale.Stephen says this is only their second date, but he hopes it won't be his last.Cali's girlfriend doesn't care about embarrassing him so she follows upwith, "Do you see her as someone you can be serious with?" This isn't aquestion that a Spartan asks because it's not going to garner a real response,but as a wing woman or friend, it's a perfect question because you allowyour friend to see if a man has to over think his answer in front of others.Stephen doesn't hesitate and says that although it's still early he hopes itcan be something serious. PC answers but Cali can sense the honesty in hisvoice. Stephen may have earned himself a spot on the team.

The Sex Push

Stephen attempts to get Cali to grab one more drink before heading backhome, and though she is drinking more than on the first date, she still knowsher limit and declines. Stephen drives Cali back to her apartment and pullsup as if he will be invited inside. Cali tells him how much fun she had, andapologizes for forcing him to sit through non-rap lyrics for 90 minutes.Stephen counters that most of it was good and that he was there to be withher, and that's all that matters. Cali goes in for a kiss, a reward for Stephendoing everything right. She could have waited for him to do it, but hertaking the initiative is more important. To kiss a man as opposed toallowing yourself to be kissed means that you are into him, and defuses anyworry that she's only letting you kiss her out of politeness.

While this may sound stupid to some, numerous women tend to gowith the flow in terms of things like kissing and even letting a man feelthem up, because they feel they owe it to him. Cali isn't going to fuckStephen, she isn't going to even let him inside, so she has to prove thatshe's not playing him, and the easiest and most efficient way is to kiss himfirst. Stephen responds like any man would, as if this is an invitation formore, and that one kiss turns into a make out session. Cali's body is on fire,and maybe if she was drunk she would slip up, but she's a professional.After five minutes of kissing, neck sucking, and thigh rubbing, Cali backsaway. "I have to go before I get you in trouble," again, Cali is exercisingcontrol.

One of the biggest annoyances men have are women who are stillscared of sex. There are grown women who don't have sex, not because ofmoral reasons, but because they fear judgment. Men don't understand whya woman would deny herself the sex she wants, but they come prepared toput her fears at ease with Dick Tactics. Guys drop the L-word, swear theywon't tell anyone, and even promise that nothing will change. It's a salespitch that all women hear when a man is trying to get inside. Guys smellyour indecision and they use that moment of confusion to their benefit. Nomatter how dick disciplined you are, know what you need to see from aman before you have sex. We'll examine "when to have sex," later on, butat this point have a solid reason that's not based on the fear that it will hurt,the fear that he will judge you, or any phobias at all. Any fear-based reasonsyou can think of, a man can destroy with logic, and he will have a pointbecause fear is never a good reason not to do anything in life.

Stephen isn't the type to guilt trip Cali into doing more than she'sready to do, nor is Cali the type of woman to respond to, "C'mon don't bepunk!" Cali isn't afraid of dick and doesn't care if she fucks tonight or nextmonth, but she won't because Stephen hasn't earned her pussy yet. Sexualchemistry and a good date are normal in her dating life because she doesn'tentertain losers, she's been in this position before and she knows to staystrong. There is no pressure on Cali to have sex just to keep him around orto have sex because she wants to cum. Her reason is simple: Only have sexafter a man's put his heart in my hands. Spartan's snatch souls, they don'twait 90 days or 3 dates, they wait to until a man is putty in her handsand then the panties come off. Nevertheless, she can't tell him, "You gota long way to go to even eat this box," because that will be a blow to hisego, so Cali turns the tables and uses reverse psychology.

Cali's pussy will whip Stephen. She's a Spartan who has mastered theart of retracting muscles, sucking her own breasts, and asking to see thedick go in and out. The things she can do in that bedroom are legendary.Cali doesn't have to go into detail; she merely states that Stephen will fall inlove if he were to fall into her. She's not acting as if sex is an elephant inthe room, she goes directly at the subject. "I'll have you sprung, baby, andit's way too early to get that serious." This could lead to more back andforth, where Stephen tries to play his own game of reverse psychology,calling Cali out as all talk, offering to pull his dick out, or any other littleboy tricks men use when desperate for sex. Cali shuts down all the fast talkbefore Stephen can get started, she doesn't want him wasting his wit tryingto fuck when she is 100% sure it's not going down.

Cali gets serious, "You know it's going to happen, baby, just keepbeing you." That's a buzzer beater response as she took it from being nastyto being heartfelt. Hos promise pussy, to get treats, Spartans predict pussy,to calm a male's ego. Cali owns up to her sexuality, she is good at sex,loves sex, and will most likely fuck Stephen if he keeps doing what he'sdoing.

That's the only reward Stephen is going to get at the end of thesecond date, and he can either accept that as truth or dismiss it as bullshitand never take her out again. That's on him, for now, Cali has done her job.She says goodnight, gives him one last kiss and exits. Stephen is pissed,here he is a guy with a lot of other women trying to get at him, and he can'teven get into the home of the girl he just spent the last week and a halftricking on. Cali turns back to the car and trots over to the driver's seat.Kisses him again and tells him that he's the best. Then she hurries back toher door. Cali knows how men think, and any man that leaves a womanwithout fucking is going to feel some sort of bitterness, this last kiss turnsthat negative back positive and gives Stephen the one thing that all menlove, the hope of new pussy coming soon.